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There’s No Such Thing As Foxes – Goblin Punch

New Post from Goblin Punch There’s no such thing as foxes.They’re mythical beasts, existing only in heraldry, rumor, and fraud.  (There are many ways to dye a coyote.)They are believed to bring good luck, confidence, glibness, and then ill fortune (in that order).  Potions made from fox’s tongues are said to exist, but there is […]

Door Wizard – Goblin Punch

New Post from Goblin Punch Back when the True Elves ran things, the world was both bigger and closer together.They had grabbed Space, bundled it up, and bound it into knots.  Everything was near everything else, and distance was as meaningless as maps.  They rarely bothered to learn where something was, since everything was just on […]


New Post from Goblin Punch I’m not saying that she bred all of the snakes personally, but she definitely was in St. Pierre, throwing snakes at children.ANYWAYDinosaurPsychosaursThese are hyper-evolved dinosaurs from an alternate timeline.  They’re giant flying dinosaur heads with psychic powers.  They refer to humans as “foolish mammals” and like to cut our heads […]

Adventuring Gear + Alchemy Items – Goblin Punch

New Post from Goblin Punch YOU CAN SKIP OVER THE ADVENTURING GEAR SECTION BECAUSE IT’S BORING BUT HERE ARE THE GOOD PARTS: Salt damages oozes and can be used to preserve meat.  Lots of thing can be animated by necromancer PCs because they’re mostly animal products: grease, ink, oil, etc.  High quality mirrors are as […]


New Post from Goblin Punch When the world finds out what you’ve done, Scrap, they’re going to stop inviting you to the yacht parties that the OSR throws every month.  They’re going to cut you off from the Cocaine of the Month Club, too.READ THESE REVELATIONS AND TREMBLE, O UNTIDY FALSITYDevilHeavenly BureaucratSo:Zulin rules the world […]

The Fighting Mountains – Goblin Punch

New Post from Goblin Punch  The shadows of old birdscrawl over young stonewhile pines huddle togetherand knot crowns beneath the earth.You fled south from the Cold Hills, leaving behind the icy fogs and venturing under the open arms of the sky.  You watched the dirt give way to granite.  You watched the sky grow huge […]

Elven Revolvers – Goblin Punch

New Post from Goblin Punch Gunpowder was discovered a long time ago in Centerra.  It just doesn’t work anymore.When they were taming the land and laying straight roads, they were also fighting the fire cults.  They won, as they always do, and the fire gods were sundered.  Some were gelded and boxed.  Some were driven […]

How To Design Death – Goblin Punch

New Post from Goblin Punch From a game design standpoint, the purpose of a Death and Dismemberment Table is four-fold. Death Table as Death DealerWhen players start Losing The Game, the Death Table delivers the most final punishment the game offers: death.  It is probably the most obvious knobs a game designer has when they want […]

NO I FUCKING DON’T – Goblin Punch

New Post from Goblin Punch This is a response to this.I’m going to imitate an imitation that started when I made an suggestion about writing the opposites of monster manual entries.I’M GOING TO PROVE THAT I DON’T FUCK PIGS BY WRITING THE SAME THING AS SCRAP.  I’M GOING TO WRITE SUCH GOOD ENTRIES THAT SHE’LL […]

The Ranger and the Wandering Monster – Goblin Punch

New Post from Goblin Punch I was sitting in a Burger King parking lot today and thinking about game design.  I have some thoughts.1. My players don’t care much about encumbrance.  Being encumbered doesn’t seem to have many effects on the game.  They usually escape fights by locking doors, rather than outrunning their foe They […]